I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
