This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
