I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
