I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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