Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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