He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
