He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
My Sexting was not on an AP level
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
