So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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