I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
if i died would you start the facebook group?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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