the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
This toilet bowl is my home.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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