Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
