It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize