Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
