? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
