found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
