A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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