Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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