What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
