Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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