I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
