Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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