You don't have asthma, your pregnant
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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