what day is it and did you see me today?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Edward fifth and chaser hands
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
