So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
