marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
