I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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