Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
