Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
