I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
