Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize