Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
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