i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
