Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
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then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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