He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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