drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
