All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
