apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
