Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you had me at cake vodka
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
