mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
