drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Randomize
