you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
