just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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