Three words: puerto rican gang bang
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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