Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Panties = found
Randomize
