walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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