Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize