Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
ok first of all what the fuck
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