break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My friends, they love my intelligence
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
