Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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