i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
