you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
he fucked my hip out of place.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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