You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
