My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
