she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
