I have demons in me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
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Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
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My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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