she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
